brain spark *

Cafe Terrace at Night

by Vincent Van Gogh, 1888

Van Gogh wrote about the Cafe Terrace at Night painting in a letter to his sister, saying

“Here you have a night painting without black, with nothing but beautiful blue and violet and green and in this surrounding the illuminated area colors itself sulfur pale yellow and citron green. It amuses me enormously to paint the night right on the spot. Normally, one draws and paints the painting during the daytime after the sketch. But I like to paint the thing immediately. 
It is true that in the darkness I can take a blue for a green, a blue lilac for a pink lilac, since it is hard to distinguish the quality of the tone. But it is the only way to get away from our conventional night with poor pale whitish light, while even a simple candle already provides us with the richest of yellows and oranges.”

////So beautiful... I dedicate this post to my beloved older sister, brother, cousins, and my mother. They are my home wherever I end up.

Thank you for raising me to be the artist I am today.

I love you. I love you.

DAYS 009- 012

(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/08/day-9.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/08/day-10.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/08/day-11.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/08/day-12.html)

“where does the wanderer go when the wanderer is tired?

when the wanderer is tired

the wanderer stops

i collect myself like moss stained rocks

left in the solitude of isolation

i am the echo in coral reefs

no one will ever swim close enough to hear

i bellow

like a yellow belly salamander

who has made home to a smoldering boulder

where does the yellow belly salamander go when its home is on fire?

the wanderer doesnt have a home for it

and the wanderer doesn't know when to stop wandering.

stop

wondering

where everything

goes”

(This is me)

QUICK NOTES////

> My life is happy

I am constantly in a good mood

I am almost always open to goofing off

I am happy being silly

It is how I grew up

and I will continue to grow this way

> Some days

life takes the life out of me.

I am always my hardest critic.

ALWAYS.

It is difficult to feel beautiful

and as happy as I was the day before

all the time.

I allow myself to breathe

and to remember that I am human, too

> I've always been an explorer.

I will never give up on my art.

I've been in a slump, lately,

I've been lost,

hopeless...

Today I learned that I can create beautiful things.

My art is proof that I am blessed to create.

To share, to love, and to inspire.

To be inspired and to grow.

To be a beautiful woman.

I am beautiful, too.

DAYS 004- 008

(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-4.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-5.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-6.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-7.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/08/day-8.html)

You asked me to paint for you.

I've already given you enough imagery.

Enough to feel it in my bones.

Sometimes I am just skin and rib cage.

Sometimes I'll invite you in.

make yourself at home

(painted by myself)

Mood: Blank/tired/hurt/sad/dark

"blank is not enough time to hold you today

i'm sorry

the pigment of my bed sheets are fading

blank is ashy elbows itching to be held

blank is oven full of stomached thoughts

blank is open mouthed surgeon criticism

blank is being there and feeling nothing

blank is stomach ached butterflies

blank is having wings

no urge to fly

maybe another day

blank is the brightness of nothingness

under your box spring

blank is racing against the clock

blank is losing spring sunshine

i want you to hold me

there is not enough daylight

perhaps tomorrow.

blank is losing sanity

i was born insane

sanity is left nameless

blank is the urge to kiss you

blank is blank tied faces

blank is accepting

there will never be enough daylight for you to love me

blank is throwing words like scarlet discs

on summer nights

blind

blank is being tongue tied

itching to be heard

blank is open mouthed surgery

incisions cut deep to sew words meaningful

blank is too much time to love you

not enough light to show it

blank is not enough fingers to trace the memories

we both had them surgically removed

blank is not enough pigment on my cheeks to show the validity on my breath

you're cold

blank is never knowing why i feel so blank

blank is not wanting to blame you

blank is knowing who left the deepest of scars on your lungs

but still loving them

blank is too many enter buttons

blank is changing lines but never deleting

blank is never deleting

blank is teeth on elbow

drag me with you

blank is shark sharp tongue on open showcased stomachs

blank is fear of flying

blank is cherry knot shoelace confusions

blank is feeling dark

when there is too much daylight

blank is tomorrow

blank is today

blank is infinite

blank is throwing heartstrings on my oven baked coloring book

blank is not the color of my heart

blank is you make me feel infinite

you are the color of my heart

blank is the stitches on my organs

i couldn't fight the urge to give you

blank is the melanin on your scalp

what color are your thoughts

blank is reoccurring

blank is infinite

blank is light bulb chain fences under my bed

blank is going down that road again

blank is blank

blank is blank

blank is reoccurring surgical procedures

reinserting the silicon of your skin back into my thoughts

blank is the color of my thoughts

blank is daylight open mouthed kisses

blank is having the urge to trap the butterflies

in heat stroke coloring book ovens

burning pages that mean too much to me

on summer nights

we are blind

blank is being blind

blank is infinite choice of spectrum

my heart lacks the melanin it needs to shout

blank is learning to shout

in the daylight

with the urge to kiss you

butterfly hello

they are living under my box spring

blank is lovingly holding ashy elbow words

i'm sorry

its dark

blank is never wanting this to end

but ending it

i am blank today

but not tomorrow

the sun will light up the darkness under my box springs

i won't be blank

blank is challenging

and being challenged

blank is love is

not having enough time to hold daylight

blank is surgically removing our fingers

the melanin in our kisses couldn't match up to the blood rushed memories

they flew away like butterflies

blank is not looking back

is blank faced pressing enter

is there are no delete buttons to stomach

blank is gone with the wind

like the scarlet discs we tossed

back and forth.

we bumped ashy elbows

itching to hold hands.

you kissed me open mouthed

that summer night.

we were blind"

-Day  8

ANALYSIS////

I wrote this piece a little over a year ago. Days 004- 008 were written with feelings of love, losing love, rejecting love, listening to love, learning about love, love, love's counterpart, just love. During those days, I remember getting out of a long relationship with a boy I really loved. It ended because we just weren't in love, because of college, because of many reasons I don't know. I just know that I didn't want to be let down and hurt over and over again. Today we remain subtle strangers.

It just interests me to remember this feeling. It's like going through all the emotions all over again, but this time, it's with someone new.

I remember how much strength it took to just lose my final straw and leave, but it was only for good intentions for myself. I knew I was strong. I knew I could leave and grow as a person. But today, I am just left with really hard feelings and words that might lose their meaning. I am at a point in my life where I just want to be left alone. It is difficult when there are strings and heart, energy, and time left on the line. Sometimes you just can't leave for the sake of saving a soul. Sometimes I just want someone to save me.

Love,

mars

SUNDAY BRUNCH II//// food for the soul

> I need to travel

> I need to be gone

> I need to disappear

> I need to grow

> I need to learn

> Being betrayed by a lover is the worst heartbreak to feel

DAYS 001- 003

(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-1.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-2.html)
(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com/2011/07/day-3.html)

My heart is a bicycle

////

Constant cycling to bat lashes at

lovers I'd like to fly with.

I've come to the conclusion that

I am married to the chase.

Don't ever fall in love with another poet

He is hopelessly drowning in the avalanche of kisses he sends to her

SUNDAY BRUNCH I//// food for the soul

> Remember how fragile you are

> No fears

> I am just daisies and dandelion dreams

> Take your time to grow

PURPOSE

“I LIKE ART, AND BY ART I

MEAN MUSIC, POETRY, SEX,

PAINTINGS, THE HUMAN BODY,
LITERATURE… ALL OF 

THIS IS ART TO ME.”

—Hunter Reveur


////

My mother calls me Mars.

I am an 18 year old city dweller

whispering passions to the eyes & ears

of other lovers. We are all either

lost, swimming, found, or drowning.

Sometimes I am in between.

This is okay in all the right places.

I am Mars from Mars Speaks 365.

Join me

as I continue to seek growth

and plant inspiration.

Warmth & comfort

(http://marsspeaks365.blogspot.com)